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With
baby number two, my mother had become ill and I was
living below my closest friend. My closest friend
became my doula, and made us meals, did our laundry
and helped me rest so I could take on my new life as
mother of two.
Two
years later, I had moved away from that friend and
my mom had passed away during the pregnancy. So with
baby number three, I felt uncomfortable asking for
help. Why would I need help? I’d done this two
times before. I refused all help and decided I
could do it alone. Well for a year after her birth
I felt overwhelmed. Not depressed exactly, but more
like I couldn’t catch my breath. I remember when
she was 13 months old literally feeling that I had
caught my breath, caught up with my life somehow.
Well a
year and a half from that point I found out I was
having twins. I knew that it was going to be way
too much for me to do it on my own, and so did my
good friend, Sheila Marley. Sheila said “too bad
for you, we’re helping you” in response to my saying
I wasn’t comfortable having help. She organized all
of my friends to cook and clean for us. She began
it two times a week when I was 6 weeks away from
delivery. After delivery, she had meals coming to
us every night, and someone coming to clean. On one
of those days, two friends, Jean and Beth, came
over. Jean had brought all the makings for an eight
course turkey dinner (the babies were born in
November), and both she and Beth were going to
clean. Beth said “we’re your doulas!” “My WHAT?” I
replied. She said, we’re here to help you after you
have a baby. That’s what a doula is.
I had
never heard the word before. But at 4:00 in the
afternoon I was in my robe, my house spotless,
turkey wafting through the air, babies contentedly
sleeping, other kids happily occupied and I said
“Wow, this is why people hire help!” It truly was
an epiphany. I always thought it was so noble to do
it all myself. But the feeling of being loved and
safe and nurtured that I felt, was truly
eye-opening. I could really see why we as women
need help. How different this felt from the
postpartum after my third baby. After two weeks of
having the rest and support I felt like I could take
on my life again. The two weeks gave me the needed
respite to heal and think about how I was going to
mother five children. The support helped my husband
so he could work to support his growing family.
This
growing family was going to cost a lot to support so
I was feeling pressure (from myself) to find a way
to help provide for our family. I knew I couldn’t
go anywhere, I also knew I wasn’t going to bring
more kids in to our home so I was wracking my brain
as to what I could to provide income. It was during
this time I read an article on doula services. I
spoke to Sheila about it. She also had for her own
reasons and desire to find a good way to make needed
income. Combined with my recent epiphany, stressing
over how I was going to help support our family, and
intense prayer, it was not surprising that I awoke
at three in the morning with the idea of starting a
doula service. It all came together.
I ran
downstairs and checked the Yellow Pages for doula
services in the area. There were none. I waited
for 7:00 a.m. (a fairly decent time to make a phone
call) to call Sheila. I blurted out my idea and she
said “you’re a genius!” I wasn’t a genius but the
idea fit us both because she had experience working
with a nursing home agency and I had a lot of
experience with mom’s and postpartum.
I made
a phone call to the National Association of
Postpartum Care Services in February of 1993 and
found out some information on starting an agency.
It was all very scary but it had to be followed
through on. Sheila and I spent the next 8 months
putting together our business, and on October 15,
1993 we put our phone in. On October 16 the phone
rang! We looked at each other in horror and
amazement and excitement. We answered the phone and
it was our first client. A mother of five who had
struggled with postpartum depression in the past and
was home with a newborn.
We’ve
been answering the phone ever since and have been
happily providing both loving postpartum and labor
doulas to meet the needs of families in our area.
We
count it a privilege to be “let into” families to
help them at this really delicate and important time
of life.
About our Doulas.
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